Remember
by The Notorious Cat
Summary: Snickers...Sara is abducted and it falls to Nick to help save her. As his past memories collide with his present, he realizes maybe there is more to his feelings for Sara then he once thought....R&R please! CHAPTER 2 UP.
1. Chapter 1

"Nick…its Sara."

-

_Ever since he was a little boy, Nick knew three words could change a person's life in a huge way. Phrases like "I love you", or "It's a boy", or, "We're getting married!"_

_He'd never known some of them were bad._

-

Nick was on his way back to the lab from a breaking-and-entering-turned-murder when he'd gotten the call. Sara was being held in a hostage situation – that was the extent of his knowledge. He'd thrown his car in the conveniently opposite direction, racing toward the hotel address Brass had given him without letting his brain connect to his heart. He had been here before – both watching other victims and he himself. But Sara…_Sara_…the potential outcomes were too grisly for him to imagine.

By the time Nick arrived, he was half a second away from a breakdown. Catherine had jogged over, and seeing the expression on his face, wrapped him in a hug. He couldn't help the tear that slid slowly down his cheek – Nick sniveled and quickly wiped it away.

Catherine led Nick over to the base of police, S.W.A.T., and C.S.I. Grissom, Warrick, and Brass had gathered, and Greg was on his way. Nick gave them all a short nod before plopping down into a nearby plastic chair. He buried his face in his hands, a weak attempt to regain composure, and tried to block both the surrounding noise and the potential scenarios from his brain.

-

_Sometimes, Nick heard about the cases his parents were working. They were lawyers, you know. He was too young to hear the gory details, but he could catch snippets of conversation if he hid in the corner pantry. Once or twice, his parents took on a kidnapping case, where the person who'd been kidnapped had been killed. He'd imagine what it would feel like to be that person…what it would feel like to be kidnapped._

_When Nick got older, he didn't have to imagine anymore_

-

There was a slight problem. As soon as he'd force one excruciatingly horrible idea of what might happen to Sara out of his mind, another one entered. Nick knew Sara was a fighter, but what if she literally fought…and her attacker fought back? Sara was small – a man could easily overpower her. Nick knew she was strong and level-headed, but he also knew that being thrown in that situation could make even the most sane person go crazy. Would she do something stupid – something that would piss off the man who had taken her? What would he do to her?

Would he…touch her? Would he tie her up…would he rape her?

"GOD DAMNIT!" Nick stood from the chair and began pacing, his eyes closed, two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. No one said a word, but he could feel their eyes on him – watching.

And so…they waited. Five minutes, ten minutes, thirty – time ticked slowly by, and all Nick could think about was how they were giving this man – hell, he didn't even know his name – more and more time to do what he pleased with Sara.

"Grissom?" Nick called loudly, and Grissom obediently came over to him.

"What the fuck are we waiting for?" Nick was way past watching his language.

"Harding to contact us." Grissom informed him politely; in a way, that irked Nick. And suddenly, he realized he knew absolutely nothing about the guy that had taken Sara.

"Who is this guy? Why is he doing this? Why _Sara_?" Nick pleaded with Grissom for answers, and suddenly, he knew exactly what Sara felt like when **he** was taken.

Grissom sighed, pulling a notepad from his back pocket in a very Brass sort of gesture. "Jake Harding, 34. Professional gym owner. Was involved in another alleged murder, a scene which Sara was processing. He took her from the back room, and the rest is history. The guy wants to be cleared of the other murder charge in exchange for Sara, along with a great deal of cash." _Great,_ Nick thought, _the guy is young, strong, able to overpower Sara, and fully capable of murder._

Suddenly, Nick's attention was caught by screaming…_Sara _screaming.

Harding had taken Sara onto the fourth story balcony, with a gun to her head and her body as his bullet shield, and had begun to yell down to the onlookers below.

-

_Nick had a babysitter. She hurt him…a lot._

_She taught him what it was like to have someone else hold your life in their very hands. _

_She taught Nick what it was like to be afraid. _

-

Nick could see Sara clearly from where he stood. Jake's hand was pressed over her mouth, his elbow and shoulder holding her body roughly up against his, and his other hand holding the barrel of a gun perpendicular to her head.

Nick had to cover his mouth. He wanted to scream and throw up at the same time.

"HEY. LISTEN UP." Harding screamed, and Nick's eyes flickered to him for a moment before returning to his vigilant watch on Sara – as if him watching her protected her from any and all harm.

"I AM TIRED OF SITTING UP HERE ALL DAY, DESPITE THE BEAUTY OF THE COMPANY I HOLD." The puking sensation was almost unbearable now, but Nick refused to take his eyes off Sara.

"THIS ENDS SOON. IF THE DEAL IS TO BE MADE, I WANT IT TO BE MADE QUICKLY. DO YOU HEAR! OR SHE DIES!" Nick watched Sara shake with silent sobs as Harding continued to speak. She visibly shuddered at his last words before she was thrown back inside the hotel room, Harding rushing after her. Nick instinctively stepped forward, as if he could reach out and touch Sara, but the balcony door slammed shut, and Nick felt his knees buckle. He fell to the ground, his head hung, his face in his hands.

-

_When Nick was a teenager, he fell in love for the first time…at least he thought it was love. He thought that if anything would happen to this girl, he'd die…he thought he knew what it felt like to be completely and utterly in love._

_He figured he fallen in love with a few girls along the way, and probably a few in Vegas _

_as well. _

_That was until a new CSI named Sara joined his shift._

-

"Alright – listen up!" Nick's attention was caught from where he kneeled on the ground. It was the officer leading the rescue mission addressing other SWAT team members.

"We're running out of time – Harding's said it himself. We need to speed it up; set the commencement time to precisely 20 minutes. In ten minutes we lay the cash at his doorstep. He'll probably have the girl come to the door and get it, but he'll be right behind her to make sure she doesn't run away. We need someone who can get the girl to break from him and run to us while SWAT backs him up and takes this guy out."

The officer looked around, and as the other officers waited in silence, Nick stood.

"No one knows this girl?" The officer continued, his eyes scanning the crowd once again.

"I can do it." Nick said, stepping forward. The officer looked at him, scanning him up and down critically, and apparently found him worthy.

"Alright, son. Somebody get a bullet proof vest for the man – you have your standard issue?" he asked.

"…Oh! Yes. I have it." Nick replied, his hand moving automatically to his gun. The officer proceeded to continue to tell Nick how the operation would go down, and Nick just nodded and tried to absorb it, all while concentrating on how he would do everything in his power to save Sara.

Ten minutes later, they made their way up to the room where Sara was being held. Nick heart beat loudly in his chest, adrenaline pumped through him as he prepared for the next five minutes of his life. He prayed, rapidly but passionately, that everything would work out – that Sara would be saved.

Nick carried the empty suitcase that was supposedly full of money for bait. It was only halfway down the hall now, and Nick began to sweat. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He knew the plan; he knew what he had to do; now he just had to hold it together for Sara.

They reached the doorway silently. Nick set down the suitcase in front of the door before taking a few steps back, but he remained the first person in anyone coming out would see.

Which was exactly what they wanted.

SWAT stood to the side, the captain nodded, and Nick called to Harding.

"Your money is here!" he yelled. He waited for thirty seconds before the handle shook. Nick drew in a sharp breath as he watched the door open, revealing Sara – Harding right behind her. His arm wrapped around her waist to keep control of her, his other hand pressed a gun to her temple. Sara had been able to maintain some composure, but when Nick's eyes connected with her's, he watched her bottom lip begin to quiver.

"Who are you?" Harding demanded, and Nick breathed deep, prepared for the question.

"I'm nobody. I'm just here to deliver the money. So take it, and let me have Sara." He said calmly. Sara shook her head fractionally, her bottom lip shaking uncontrollably now, her eyes filling with tears. Nick wanted to reach out to her so badly – but he kept himself in check.

"Am I free of all charges?" Harding asked, and Nick nodded.

"Yes." He reaffirmed. Harding stared at the money for a moment, thinking, but Nick and Sara continued to stare at each other.

"_Come_." Nick mouthed silently to Sara, motioning slowly with his finger without moving it from his side. Sara shook her head – Nick realized she didn't want to risk him getting hurt.

Harding peered out the doorway, still unaware of the SWAT team, trying to weigh his chances.

"_Come._" Nick tried again, his eyes pleading with her. Sara just shook her head once more.

-

_Once, when he was little, Nick climbed to high in a tree. He must have been only seven or eight, but he climbed high above to the top most branches. When he tried to get down, he could climb down the branches of the tree, but he soon reached the lowest branch, and it was fairly high off the ground. He couldn't jump – he was too frightened. The ground seemed hundreds of feet away._

_He'd screamed until his mother came running from the house asking which leg he'd broken. When she found him stuck in a tree, she laughed and laughed until tears sprung into her eyes. She stretched her arms towards him and told him to jump. He refused several times – he was scared. But finally, after some coaxing, he jumped._

_And when he felt his mother's arms wrap around him, he knew he'd never doubted she'd catch him._

-

"HEY!" Harding shouted, making both Sara and Nick jump. "WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?"

"Nothing. Just take the money and let Sara go. Please." Nick stated calmly, trying desperately to get Sara to run to him.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL HERE? YOU THINK I'M SOME SORT OF DUMBASS?" Harding was getting angry, and Nick knew Sara's chances of survival were rapidly dwindling.

"SARA!" Nick screamed. She kicked Harding in the groin and broke free. Afterwards, Nick could only remember flashes of what happened.

When he felt Sara's body crash into his, he spun on the balls of his feet, taking Sara with him. His back shielded her from any harm as he held her close, her head in his shoulder. The SWAT team closed in. Jake Harding waved his gun around, shooting randomly, and Nick could hear a shot whir past his ear and lodge into the wall. Ten shots later, the SWAT team had taken him out and it was over.

It was all silent for a moment before the captain began giving orders, but Nick held Sara tight and remained where he was. He opened his eyes but didn't release her, only kissed her forehead and rocked her back and forth. She sobbed into his shoulder, and he showered her with more kisses and sweet nothings. Finally, her head came off his shoulder and their eyes connected.

"Nicky…" Sara managed, silent tears continuing to stream down her face.

"Shhhh…." He whispered, leaning his cheek against the side of her head as her small frame shook, "It's all over now. I've got you Sar…shhhh…."

Nick was fully aware that he and Sara were sitting in the hallway, he leaning against a wall with Sara in his arms, Jake Harding was lying dead just feet away, and SWAT was swarming and walking around, but he didn't care. Sara was collapsing in his arms, and he was trying his best to hold her together.

Which wasn't really that easy, given that he was trying to hold himself together too.

Nick held Sara tight, her body right up against his, supporting her back and head. She cried into his shoulder, and finally after about five minutes, she calmed and became silent.

"Sara…honey…" he whispered as she looked timidly up at him, "You were great back there. You were so brave. I'm so proud of you Sar."

Sara smiled, her once forgotten hand creeping up to Nick's neck, her thumb stroking it slowly.

"Nick…you just saved my life." She croaked, and Nick gave her a watery smile, his face wrinkling as he brushed hair from her face.

"Good." He said, "Then we're even."

-

_Nick and his brother were always competitive. Since he was so much younger, Nick almost always lost. But when he reached his teen years, he gained one win, then two, then three._

_But most times, he was happy to tie._

_-_

Nick looked around, and he could see swing shift CSI's arriving for processing, and he knew taking Sara down to the ambulance would be the safest, easiest thing for her right now. He stroked her back soothingly, kissing her cheek, and letting his face linger by her hair probably longer then he should have before he bent to whisper in her ear.

"Let's get out of here, kay?" He asked, and Sara nodded. She stood up with Nick's help, then turned and offered her hand to help him up. He smiled and took it, and once he was standing, he didn't let it go.

They began walking slowly down the hallway. Sara leant her body in towards Nick, and Nick dropped her hand so he could wrap his arm around her waist, bringing her closer. Sara was still shaking slightly – Nick knew how shaken and scared she still was. He squeezed her hand for support. They reached the elevator, and the moment Nick pushed the button the door sprang open. He led Sara inside, pushed the lobby button, turned, and wrapped Sara in his arms again. She trembled, and Nick didn't want to imagine what horrifying memories were coming back to her right then. She didn't speak, just buried her head into his shoulder, her hands grasping his back and pulling him closer.

Nick closed his eyes and leant his head against hers. Right then, the only thing he wanted was for the world to stop.

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A/N

This was a random story lying around my hard drive and I decided to post it. So…

I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING.

Ok I sort of lied. I have _some_ idea of where this story is going, but as for lengh/depth/plot/title/other very important elements, I'm indecisive.

So don't depend on weekly updates. Sorry

I'm not sure if I'm going to carry on the whole Nick-flashback-every-page-or-so that kind of relates to the story. Actually if you guys don't like it I'll take it out all together, so definitely get back to me on that in your reviews. Which leads me to…

REVIEW PLEASE! Even short, anonymous reviews with constructive criticism or ideas are more than welcome.

The Notorious Cat


	2. Chapter 2

When Nick was scared, nervous, or pissed off, he paced.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Right now he was all three of these, so as he waited in an empty evidence examination room at CSI HQ, pacing was the only thing he could think to do.

He had reluctantly let go of Sara; she was both giving her statement and being processed. Nick shuddered to himself; how could this happen? Those terms…statement, process…they were used everyday…they were cheap words. How different they were, Nick thought, when they are about someone you love.

Nick continued pacing, his eyes glazed over at thoughts of Sara. Of that night, of what she'd gone through, of what she meant to him. So he jumped clear off the ground at the sound of a knock on the already open door.

He turned to see Warrick standing there, and both a feeling of relief and disappointment flooded through his veins; how badly he had wanted it to be Sara.

"How is she? Is she almost done? When can I see her?" Nick rushed Warrick with questions.

"She's almost done. She finished her statement…she's being taken to an evidence room right now." Warrick replied with a frown. Nick looked at the floor; despite Warrick's kind tone of voice, the hard, unfeeling words clinched at his heart.

"How's the case?' Nick asked, needing to hear some hopeful, encouraging news.

"Nick, I don't know. Right now we don't know a lot…the scene is fresh and we don't have any officially logged evidence." Warrick said. When Nick gave him a glare, Warrick continued.

"Hey man, you know how this goes! Don't give me the evil eye…we're just trying to dot our i's and cross our t's. If this thing gets all mucked up and shitty the person that it's going to hurt is Sara…and I know you don't want that."

Nick nodded, exasperated. Warrick cleared his throat, and Nick watched him, cautious of what was to be said next.

"Nick, I um…well we…uh…there is one other thing…" Warrick tried, and Nick looked at him earnestly.

"What? What?" Nick demanded.

"Nick…I…" Warrick continued, searching for words.

"WHAT?" Nick yelled.

"Nick…I'm sure in the horrifying excitement of the moment you didn't have any time to notice but…Sara came in wearing men's clothes." Warrick said quietly, "She uh…she didn't have any panties on."

Nick staggered backwards, his hand covering his mouth. He tried to breathe but his lungs wouldn't take in air. His eyes started to water.

"She didn't say anything in her statement about it but…Nick you know what coming in with no panties means…"

There was a brief moment of silence before Nick exploded.

"GOD DAMNIT WARRICK! DON'T TELL ME SOMEONE TOUCHED HER! Please…please…tell me he didn't touch her…" Nick cried, his hands grasping the table as he tried desperately to hold his sobs in. Warrick allowed him a few moments to collect himself before he spoke again.

"Look…like I said…she didn't say anything about it in her statement – we don't know anything yet. I could be wrong…but maybe she's holding it in Nick." Warrick came and put a hand on Nick's shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze.

"If there's anyone she'll tell, I have a gut feeling it will be you. I just wanted you to be prepared…if this happened to her, she needs help. And that help needs to start with you."

Nick nodded, still leaning against the table, not able to face Warrick. Warrick's hand slipped off his shoulder, and he could hear him walk silently out of the room. When Nick was sure he was gone, he crumpled into a nearby chair, letting tears fall silently with no attempts to stop them.

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Ten minutes later, Nick hadn't moved. He had stopped crying, stopped pacing, and attempted to stop thinking. Now he just sat in the armless swivel chair, his arms dangling at his sides, staring at the examination table in front of him, his mind swirling.

"Hey cowboy." He heard Sara's gentle voice call from the doorway where she now stood. As if in slow motion, he looked up at her, smiled, and gestured for her to come to him. He patted his leg, and she sat on it. He relished in the soft weight of her body as his arms wrapped around her waist and her arms came around his shoulders.

"They told me I could find you here." She said simply, letting one of her hands play through his short, silky hair without breaking eye contact. He smiled; the urge to lay a comforting kiss gently on her lips was almost unbearable. He simply nodded in response, his throat too full of emotion to speak.

Suddenly Sara's brow furrowed, and the hand not playing in his hair came to cup his cheek, her thumb smoothing his skin.

"You were crying." She said, though it had come out as a sort of a question. Nick looked away, nodding his yes. Her hand slipped off his cheek and rested under his chin, and he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and allowing her eyes to reconnect with his.

"Why?" She asked. He gave her a watery smile, and wasn't able to hold in the singe tear that fell, streaking onto her hand.

"Because when someone you care about gets hurt, it hurts you too." He said simply, and his chin quivered. Sara's gaze softened, and the hand under Nick's chin slid to cup his cheek once again.

"Oh Nick…" she whispered. She pulled his head onto her shoulder, his face tucked into her neck. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, inching her body closer to his. Her arms encircled his neck, her fingers threading through his hair.

"Sara…" Nick whispered, his voice full of such raw emotion as Sara had never heard. "You would tell me if someone hurt you wouldn't you? Even if you thought I would be mad, or sad, or wouldn't understand, you would tell me, right?"

"Nicky…I…" Sara's voice cracked at the tears that sprang into her eyes.

"Promise me Sar. Promise me you'll tell me. Always." Nick's voice was suddenly strong, demanding. Sara looked at him, a grown man withering in her arms, and squeezed him tight.

-

_From the time Nick was able to understand, Nick's mother and father preached endlessly about "good touch vs. bad touch". If anyone, stranger, family member…babysitter… anyone touched Nick "in a way that gave him a yucky feeling in his tummy", he was supposed to tell either of his parents._

_He had promised he would. And before he met the new babysitter, Nick never entertained the idea that this would be a promise he'd break._

_-_

"Of course Nick. I promise." She whispered, leaning her head down to whisper it into his ear. He smiled, his head shifting to kiss her gently on her neck, something which caught her off guard, yet warmed her to the bone.

Nick's arm had draped across her back as she sat on his lap, his hands clasping at her hip. But now he let only one hand hold her hip; the other moved to her stomach. In her current position, his big hand covered her entire abdomen, his thumb even gently resting against the bottom swell of her breast. As the two of them sat there in silence, each concentrated on the slow movement of his thumb caressing her stomach, back and forth.

Back and forth.

-

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Hey – sorry this update took so long/is kind of short. But I liked where it ended so I couldn't help it. Thanks for continuing to read – review please!

- The Notorious Cat


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